I was around the age of 14 when I first discovered an overwhelming sense of dislike for myself or more particularly my body. I can remember thinking "Why isn't my tummy as flat as my friends?" and "I wish I could just get a pair of scissors and chop off my tummy". These are probably the most polite and less dark thoughts I had, but still, they portray how low I was and my thought processes back then.
I would be extremely sad about not always being a size 8 UK size clothing, more often than not being a size 10. And as the years went on, my obsession with myself and my body grew and grew and not in a stuck up or snooty way; this kind of self obsession is quite the opposite.
I would google about all sorts of weight loss surgery, how to lose weight and tried crash diets all the time. Looking back now I wish that I could slap myself, tell myself that I was nowhere near overweight and to stop worrying over such ridiculous, trivial matters such as my belly!
I am in no way saying that sitting, typing this post as a 20 year old woman that I have decoded the art of self love and have incredibly profound body confidence. But I have made baby steps and I can say that I am getting there.
It's such a bizarre feeling being such a feminist and girls girl who, will so openly celebrate women and their successes, their journeys and their beauty of all shapes and sizes; yet be such a critic of my own.
I'm not too sure what made me write this, but it's an issue I am passionate about and an art I am desperately trying to improve my skills in. I know so many girls, all shapes and sizes, can really struggle with body confidence for all sorts of reasons. Whoever is kindly taking the time to read this post, know that you're so beautiful.
Whenever I (or any of you) feel low, remember you should worship your body and treat it right. Think of your own body bible, for example:
- STOP - put an end to any negativity in your life; do you surround yourself with people who put others down? People who slate others and don't embrace others beauty but instead pass nasty remarks? Are your 'friends' pressuring you to alter your image? You're only as good as the company you keep, unfortunately even the most independent of people will be influenced by negativity. Remove any of these people from your life, not in a malicious manner but just take a back seat from those who don't positively influence your life and make you happy
- DO SOMETHING - as long as whatever you do won't hurt anybody else then do something about whatever is getting you down. If shedding a few pounds is all it will take for you to feel 100 times better, then exercise more, eat a little healthier. If you wish you had shorter hair but you're scared that 'society' will describe you as not feminine then stick your middle finger up to society and chop it off!
- EMBRACE - unlike weight loss or haircuts, there are just some things that can't be changed or take a lot more work to alter, so learn to embrace those aspects. My fellow big boob girls understand me when I say alter necks and strapless tops are mortifying! Because suddenly just because your breasts are larger, you're conveying promiscuous imagery of yourself by having them on show even though a cleavage is a cleavage and boobs are just boobs! Smaller busted girls there is no miracle bra thats going to give you Katie Price melons! Sorry to rain on your parade but just take a look in vogue - those gorgeous models are all much flatter chested and still represent women in the worlds hugest magazine. Basically ladies, just use what you see as your imperfection and turn it into something you love about yourself. Tell yourself you love the gap in your teeth, it makes your smile unique. Say that you love having a big butt and shake it on the dance floor. Tell yourself that skinny doesn't mean your any less of a woman and flaunt your hot bod in a bikini with confidence!
This is all a lesson in progress and I hope that we can all learn to respect and not reject ourselves!
Thank you for reading,